


history read

by wintersweather



Series: look up [5]
Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 07:05:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14869028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersweather/pseuds/wintersweather
Summary: don't fear the past before it comes along





	history read

**Author's Note:**

> title/excerpt from "history read" by the altogether!

The sun woke Brian up, flitering through the blinds and straight into his eyes. He'd almost forgotten that aspect of sleeping in Pat's bed.

He squeezed his eyelids shut tight, tried to escape the light somehow. Pat shifted next to him, still asleep. Brian envied him just a little bit, not the first nor the last time.

They had stayed up well past "late", alternating between silences and pourng their hearts out. Brian's feelings came out in a mess of emotion, half-desperate and in no particular order. Pat spoke quietly, considered every word before he said them. 

Pat kept himself reserved, if not a bit aloof, as Brian allowed himself to do the direct opposite. He wanted to tell Pat how much he missed every part of him, about how much he loved Pat and frankly didn't give a shit who knew. Pat listened, didn't answer for a long time as he thought it over. 

By two in the morning, Pat let Brian take down all his walls. He knew it'd happen eventually.

 

The sun was relentless, and Brian found himself in that weird state where he was somewhere between being awake and being asleep. Pat's bedroom felt liminal and warm and bright, and Brian's limbs felt heavy. He wondered briefly what dying would be like, and how he probably wouldn't mind it if Pat was beside him. He wondered if he'd go to heaven, if any of that was even real. 

"Hey," Pat said, barely above a whisper. He reached over and put his arm around Brian's waist, pulling him closer.

Brian smiled, kept his eyes closed. "Good morning," He answered, trying to match Pat's tone.

"I missed you." Pat murmured. Brian could hear the smile in his voice.

Brian nodded. He was still tired. "I hate the sun." He replied. He could hear Pat's wall clock ticking somewhere in the room, sounding louder than he ever recalled. Things felt surreal; Pat's arm seemed like the only thing tethering him to reality.

Pat laughed, a familiar noise that made Brian's heart flutter just a little. "You tired?"

Brian thought he answered, but Pat didn't say anything back, so maybe he just answered in his head. Pat laughed a little again, and Brian felt him pull the comforter up and over Brian's head. It was much darker now, and Brian felt a little like he was going to suffocate. That'd be okay.

"Go back to sleep, you fuckin' nerd." Pat said, pulling Brian a little closer.

\- - -

The dark circles under Pat's eyes were a little more defined that noon. Brian rested his chin on his hand and stirred his tea with his free hand, watching as Pat ate his bowl of cereal. Charlie walked around the legs of the kitchen table, generally being a nuisance.

"Brian," Pat said his name like a sigh. "Are we - do you think this will last?"

Brian lifted his head at that, tilting it to the side some. "What do you mean? Like, our relationship?"

Pat nodded, breaking eye contact to look down at Charlie.

"We couldn't be not-not-dating for a week." Brian said, giggling nervously. "I think...I think we'll be okay."

Pat smiled a little, picking at a dent in the table where the finish had lifted, revealing the wood. "Yeah?" He said.

"I mean, we all die someday," Brian said, lifting his mug to take a sip. "So like eventually it'll _have_ to end, right? But I feel like until then, we've got a pretty good shot."

\- - -

Brian spent the rest of the day with his head on Pat's lap, backseat gaming as Pat played various 90s Nintendo games on the TV. Charlie came and went, sleeping on Brian's legs anytime he wasn't mostly being an inconvenience. 

Pat paused his game, running his hand through Brian's hair for a moment. Brian wasn't sure what time it was. Time felt a little undefined when he was with Pat, which totally wasn't why Gill and Gilbert was always wildly late.

"I don't know how to be a good boyfriend." Pat said, half-jokingly.

Brian felt some semblance of butterflies in his stomach at the word boyfriend, and immediately felt stupid for the feeling. "You're doing great." He assured, smiling up at Pat. "Absolutely perfect."

"That's - that's good. I'm glad." Pat said, pausing for a moment before continuing. "I'm glad you're here, Brian."

Brian sat up to kiss Pat. "I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else."

 

Maybe New York Brian and Baltimore Brian weren't so different after all.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took me so long to write!!! i started and restarted and restarted like ten thousand times.
> 
> wowzers! this was the last one of this series and i feel Emotional! i don't even know what to do with myself anymore! on the upside, i now have ALL SUMMER to post (maybe) regularly if i can think of Good Content. 
> 
> anyway thanks everyone who kept up with this series! it's been extremely Fun and Good and i appreciate every single one of you <3


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